2006-03-01 - 12:05 p.m.

Having just made 3 new surveys, I now realize I have entirely too much time on my hands and I could be much more productive if only I could overcome certain phobias in reference to hot dog sandwiches and Corey Haim's pubic hair but I digress.
The only reason I can think of for you to even be jacking me off in the first place is just so you can show off your trophy to the first hundred lucky winners at the Atlanta Rocket Science Museum in Deepshit, Arkansas while all the prostitues laugh and call you a dumbass bitch of all trades.
But, now you want to whine and piss and moan about all the people who don't want to go down on me or kiss a pumpkin eater or even brazenly behold a bikini clad robotic sandhill crane. And that is so wrong on so many different levels that I can't even begin to tell you what a fucking insane, nutcase derelict you are.